random thoughts

09/11/2016

I was telling phy that I really like bunny but I will not confess for now.
Maybe it is better to keep it as a secret since I don't know whether I truly like him or not. But come on lah. How can this not be love when I have already contemplating about it since jc days?

You must be kidding me if this is not love but admiration.
But then again, having some inferior complex issues, I guess it would do him good if I keep it as a secret instead. Maybe he would be hurt if I told him the truth. Maybe we might not even be friends anymore.

I guess it really sucks if that would ever happen to our friendship. I guess it is good to remain as it is. If he were to pay some attention to my body language etc, he should be able to catch it by now (unless he is really oblivious about such issues).

I think I have been spending more effort in keeping contact with him and always be the one who takes the initiative to organize outings together. I also spent effort trying to ask him when he was having his lunch in school during nus days and always checked his schedule what time his lessons ended.
I don't really know what else I should be doing to make things right. Or whether I am just fantasizing over it.

The only thing that I can be certain of is that I am very willing to sacrifice everything for him. My heart sunk when I knew that the part of japan where he travelled to had earthquakes. Really. I was crying over it when I saw the news. I can't believe that I am crying while typing all these out. Seriously.

Call me a coward if you think I am.
I admit it anyway.

I also don't really know whether I like him because he scored well in his a levels and in university or whether it is purely love.
But if you were to ask me what I really like about him, I don't really think that there is an definite answer.

I guess that's love? if you can point out the definite answer why you like the person, does it mean that you only like that particular part about him? what if he does not have the trait anymore?
do you still like him for who he is?

Something to ponder about while I continue with my soul-searching...

09/11/2016

Reflecting back on my old blog post.
TOP TEN REASONS WHY I WILL MAKE THE BEST WIFE FOR BUNNY17/11/13
Since i have absolutely no mood to study, i shall write a blog post today.
Hopefully after writing the blog post, I would have the mood to mug like siao later.
i shall give TOP TEN reasons why he should marry me and why I would be the best choice.
#1: I have known him for 5 years, no one else know him better than I do.
#2: I am his vice president of FOREVERALONE club whereas he is the president. So we should be together forever.
#3: We are very similar in many things, including the music genre we both like. e.g. adam lambert
#4: We both love rilakkuma and pokemon <3 font="">
#5: I LOVE him and I will never leave him alone
#6: I will put down everything, including my dreams, just to pursue his.
#7: I will definitely NOT let him suffer, let him being ever alone ever again
#8: I will work very very hard to make sure that he does not have to worry about anything related to finances. As a dutiful wife, I will share his burden together with him, not to create any trouble or add on to his burdens
#9: Since I will enter the workforce earlier, I will make sure I will spend a lot of time with him even if I am working in shifts. I can even sponsor part of his education fees too.
I can do multiple jobs at the same time; working full-time and coaching our kids in the future.
I can do all things with LOVE
#10: We are just fated to meet each other, nothing can ever separate us ever again. That is the reason why we are telepathically connected. I will never leave you alone, regardless of sickness or old age. I will never go for someone else because I know that we are fated to be together and ever. 

Woah. I think I should just send this letter to him to confess instead. 

lol