Total failure...

Here is another self-reflection blog post about myself...

Initially, I wanted to blog about the updates of the rest of the clique and now...it seems that I'm doing self reflection of myself.

Perhaps I should get a new personal diary to do self reflection instead of doing it in here...But since I had already started self reflection just now, I might as well do reflection over here instead of wasting my time on drama series which is not going to be useful to my life at all. I really hope I can be as firm as I am now when school reopens in 2 weeks' time.

I failed as a student and I also failed as a friend to someone...I could have keep everything to myself instead of telling him out of the sudden. Am I an idiot? Hello?! Cann't I just bottled everything to myself for my entire life??? Without any warning or any signal, I told him my feelings without any hesitation.

DAMN ME TTM

I'm selfish as usual - I did not seek for his permission and without considering his feelings at all, I just told him everything out of nowhere.

I AM SO SELFISH

Doing things without using my brain at all

I mean, what's the point of confessing to him when you know that it is just impossible between you and him?! For goodness sake, do I seriously think that the sudden confession is going to make any difference at all? Please, just look forward instead of holding to the past memories dude.

By confessing to him, what do I seriously hope for when I did the confession?

Do I hope for him to accept it?

HELLO

I'm seriously being selfish by making the stupid confession in the first place. I do not know what's wrong with me at that point of time.

Why do I have to make things difficult for the both of us? Wouldn't it be good for both of us to remain as friends.

Fantastic...

Now I have messed everything up and it's too late to return to the original state.

The situation is severely screwed up by me thanks to my stupidity.

Now the situation can be exemplified by a glass of water has been evaporated almost completely as I did not put the glass of water to the fridge. And now, it's really impossible for me to find that original glass of water back as most of it has already been evaporated away.

Is it still possible for us to remain as good friends?

I have lost too many things and I really do not want to lose this friend anymore.

Thanks to my stupidness, I have messed up my relationships with a lot of people.

Sometimes, I really feel that I'm lonely:(

Or is it because I have changed a lot?

Zzzzzzzzzzz